Sexual repression. 

Between October 1968 and December 1974 had deemed it wrong for unmarried Christians to experience the joys of proceation in the mind. I was told that if Christians fantasise about doing wrong one is guilty as actually doing it. It was also a symptom of my obsessive compulsive disorder. Fornication and loose conduct are forbidden in the Bible - see 1 Corinthians 6:9, and Colossians 3:5,6: "Deaden, therefore, your body members that are upon the earth as respects, fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of those things the wrath of God is coming." New World translation. I deadened mine in the wrong way. Severe Zinc deficiency obviously facilitated it. The last straw to cause my breakdown was being unable to cope with falling in love with a female member of my religion in mid 1974. More here. 

Other worries and strains.

1/ Repessed a memory of me being sexually abused once when a young boy by an adult male foreigner neighbour. It appeared to shut down part of my mind's general awareness so that later in life it contributed me me failing to see that I was running myself into the ground and causing nervous exhaustion; I was doing more to try and make myself feel better when I should have been resting instead. I remembered the abuse incident during the nervous exhaustion of December 1974 because my mind had no more energey left to keep it locked away. He had told me not to tell anyone, so from that moment I deliberately forgot about it. 2/ If it were not for me attempting to date the lady in mid 1974 I would have suffered a breakdown then over the Christian ministry - over-preaching from house to house; would suddenly have gone unconscious. 3/ Anyone in their right mind would automatically know it was not obligatory for Christians, who are single and with no responsibilities, to preach a lot if they did not want to do it. I used to know it but forgot it when my mental illness became worse, so that from January 1971 I wore my nerves out preaching too much thinking I would be wicked obtaining a full-time job when people needed to respond to the Kingdom message to save their lives before Armageddon destroyed the unrepentant wicked ones. 4/ Forcing myself to do hateful menial jobs to make ends meet to do the ministrty i.e.  self-employed  window cleaning, door to door selling and house decorating, roofing and repairs. I also plodded on to avoid being a failure. I suffered from obsessive compulsive disorder from January 1969 when I became promoted to a responsible desk job at Chappells Music, 50 New Bond St., London W1. It made jobs harder to do than usual. It was not a major everyday problem though e.g. no constantly flicking a light switch for two hours. When working as a window cleaner I had to wipe the panes a set number of times and in a certain pattern. Re-entering my home's front door to make sure the gas was turned off when I as on the way out. When I was a house painter I could keep returning to the sink to remove every speck of paint from the brush whenever detecting another bit on it. However, OCD seemed to disappear for the last few months up to the breakdown in December 1974. 5/ Trying to remember too  much information after discovering the "miracle" of mnemonics  to remember things easily from early 1974.  6/ The corticosteroid prednisone 1963 - 1966 for ulcerative colitis which adversely affected me mentally. Afterwards I believe it was responsible for making me feel as if I were going about in a wheelchair with the world or life in contact with and sliding past my abdomen. 7/ I believe that the extensive chiropractic therapy I underwent between May 1971 and the breakdown improved my nervous system to such a degree - as well as the molasses and brewers yeast food supplements - that it might have caused my mind to become more awake than usual thereby making those nerves more exhausted than typically occurs in cases of nervous exhaustion. 8/ Failed to possess a mind of my own up to the end of 1974 and so did what people told or encouraged me to do when they were inappropriate for me.

The reasons for the approximately twelve sudden  relapses of the illness since 1975 (not in order of occurrence):

Keeping eyes closed for several seconds when they were unable to cope with it; walking; looking at bright light; doing one voluntary thought; working for too long; once crawling upstairs; speaking which caused relapses on three separate occasions; touching a rough texture after I had taken prescribed diazepam (Valium) for two weeks in the Maudsley Psychiatric Hospital, S. London, August 1981.

Mind and knowing nerves.

I can only think, read, write, do arithmetic when in the mood and then not for long. Otherwise have only been able to say deliberately or voluntarily an amazing total of two words in the mind since January 1975 and it physically my head. Trying to think words in the meantime is like coming up against a rubber wall in the mind because its muscles too are frequently unable to work. I once worked with figures but could not do it now to save my life. Occasionally I can keep taking seven away from one hundred once or twice in a row but I have memorised it to do it very quickly. When speaking I can guide the thoughts to choose words to a certain extent. An analogy for this is a train on rails only able to go in one direction whereas, a normal mind is like a helicopter which can go in any direction it likes i.e. I cannot change subject at will, and a relapse would result if I tried hard enough to do deliberate thoughts. Endeavouring to do even a slight deliberate thought used to induce spasms in my head and body muscles where my head uncontrollably jerked to the right a number of times and the movements were separated by a second or two. Then in July 2004 following a few amounts of the asthma drug Salbutamol the drug has reduced them to mainly just spasms of the mouth and vocal muscles. I shall do a video of them soon which will be embarrassing to see me acting like a silly fool. However, I dream normally. I have been able to think enough to build radio-controlled model aircraft and personally control them a limited amount in the air via the transmitter, but I have done nothing of this nature since my father died in 1999 because the hobby has been too much for me to do; he used to help. I also built from bought parts my latest desktop computer. It took me four months to get the Raid working because I failed to know that the Iomega disc drive had to be temporarily disconnected while installing the operating system software otherwise it would not load. Something to do with the Promise raid controller. I discovered it in a Forum. I also built from a kit the RCM&E proportional radio control outfit in 1987 but although it flew models for a while it was never 100% successful because I "bit off more than I could chew" trying to make it owing to how my thinking is affected by the condition. This is that when the instructions said short out a certain resistor to enable proper tuning of the radio frequency I incorrectly though it meant connect one end to a battery wire. Instead, one was supposed to join both ends of the resistor together. I removed and rebuilt my father's reliant Robin car engine in about 1985 when a piston ring broke but I had his help doing it. Although he was an engine fitter on Lancaster bombers during world war 2 he did not have the courage to attempt it on his own. Some other things I have done since 1983: installed house lighting and power circuits, plumbing, carpentry, decorating, loft insulation, installed a patio door with help. Built a large garden pond single-handedly in 2002.

Being near large revolving windmills and even seeing them on TV would soon give me a relapse from overusing my knowing nerves for such things owing to hardly any fuel in the latter. Also, I am unable to keep on revolving my legs for long on a bicycle for the same reason. Therefore, I use a Twist-and-Go electric bicycle, instead of a Pedelec that only supplies power when revolving the legs. I am hoping the UK does not bring in legislation banning Twist and go; the EU has banned them. The following revolving items do not affect me: wheels, propellers and anything fast spinning, although I would have to have a rest from them eventually. I reckon I could safely do a seven hour stint on a jet airliner.

To avoid making mistakes when speaking such as saying the opposite I have to take it slowly similar to how a disabled in the leg department person would fall over if walking too fast.

My short-term memory is poor unless using mnemonics but I can only rarely use it. I usually cannot recall when I last went out of the house. Am absent minded such as loosing things in the home. In a conversation I can forget to say something which is basically tantamount to for example a carpenter forgetting he can use a screw instead of a nail. Instead of seeing the whole "picture" on a point of view to always come to the correct thing to say, I am effectively instead looking through a hollow straw at parts of it which can make me say the wrong thing although I think I am saying the right thing. Later, I realise the mistake when the "straw" has moved to the part of the picture that says I should not have said it.

Just as I cannot indefinitely sustain the contractions of my muscles, my mind also cannot hold certain thoughts for long, so that whenever I think of something in particular to write about I must start recording it within about fifteen seconds otherwise I have usually forgotten it. However, I can remember it if I can turn it into a mnemonic (a mental technique to improve memory involving visualizing bizarre imagery of the thing to be remembered), and rarely I can do a seemingly stupendous memory feat using the mnemonics I first started learning in 1974 from Harry Lorayne's book entitled How to Develop a Super-Power Memory - ISBN 0 85454 062 8 i.e. the memorizing of a fixed set of one hundred four digit numbers described on page 161 of his tome. I often forget what I have just said. My mental imagery is usually like watching a slide show where each scene is stationary and there momentarily. Sometimes, though, I can think for a while using animated imagery, and I have built model aircraft, and with help stripped and rebuilt a car engine successfully in about 1985.

Unable to concentrate upon two things at once e.g. I can drop something when retrieving it from a cupboard when my mind has been distracted.

Sometimes, when the adverts start on TV I can forget what programme I have  previously been watching.

It seems I dream normally, and symptoms of my illness' can be in them.

I tend to talk out load to myself a good amount. This is because of the paralysis to my thinking mechanism in that if I have something worrying me enough and as I cannot think the words in my mind at those particular times it comes out as spontaneous verbal speech instead of private words said in the mind. I should not do it because doing too much speaking would cause a relapse. I hope my neighbours do not hear me otherwise they will incorrectly think me mad.

My sense of being in the world has been continually blunted since the beginning of November 1974 which was five weeks before the nervous exhaustion came to a head.

I do not hear voices or hallucinate. However, see here for one week only of hallucinations and a voice - but no actual words - in 1976.

e I can only balance upon one leg for a few seconds with eyes shut owing to my mostly paralysed mind  unable to compute enough - see 1.58Mb video of it (Dial up version 138Kb). I used to incorrectly believe it to be a positive Romberg's sign. However, I can do it for about three times longer with eyes open but even more whilst simultaneously watching television.

The sign for me to stop using my leg muscles (and others) varies but typically they suddenly start to become uncomfortable similar to how healthy muscles are when they have become exhausted upon lifting a heavy weight. At the same time mine give the impression they are becoming fragile and are going to break. When walking I cannot do it for long and have to stop when the legs feel as if they are increasingly becoming entangled with elastic which would break if I did not stop in time. This is demonstrated in the following video of me on the flying filed of the model club I used to belong to, and it is only a momentary pause that time. Others are longer. I use a shooting stick to sit upon. During most major past relapses when I was unable to walk, I would walk or stand a bit  - albeit rarely - whenever the adrenalin became high enough from fright, anger or pain which would override the faulty nerves. I also sleep ran one night during a relapse in mid 1976 on 01 Ward, Claybury Hospital, Woodford Bridge, Essex, when I was virtually unable to move when awake.

 1996 (wmv 966 kb) Video clip Copyright © Michael Thomas. All rights reserved.

My knee jerk reflex quickly becomes more sensitive and ends in a vigorous shaking spasm of the leg which leaves doctors unimpressed. My other reflexes are similarly sensitive.

Legs

I use a Solartracker electric bicycle rather than a conventional one because I cannot keep on revolving my legs pedalling. Otherwise, continuing to pedal tightens up something in the legs which feels feels about to break. If it did break a relapse would be the result where the nerves would be further damaged. I am safe on the road so long as I do not start thinking about something else - I cannot concentrate upon doing two things at once. See video of my fall off the bike at Essex University in 2003 because of videoing at the same time as riding making me not notice the speed bumps. I got over the first one but could not think quickly enough to negotiate the second one.

In the past I have suffered from some asthma that has been caused by touching rough textures which is an effect of the neurological injury. However, in the early morning of June 27 2004 I suffered my worst one caused by alcohol and dehydration.

A life threatening one of my symptoms is that whenever I am at the beginning of a major relapse my respiration stops whenever I go without food for approximately eighteen hours. It happened twice, in mid 1976 and early January 1977, when I was a psychiatric inpatient, but eating food immediately restarted it because it re-supplied the exhausted nerves with  fuel so that they could continue to function. The body is unable to store something sufficiently to keep them going indefinitely at those times. The first time my breathing temporarily stopped was in February 1975 and it was not owing to going without food but was at becoming excited at a visit by the woman whom I had suffered the December nervous exhaustion event over. This was just after the nerve damage had been exacerbated by one week of Dothiepin in Wanstead General Hospital. I did not feel breathless and it restarted when I made myself calm down. It must have stopped for over half a minute I should think. In 1976 I also failed to feel breathless when it stopped, but in January 1977 I was fighting for breath when it stopped. This is because the severity and sensitivity of the nerve damage had altered to improve it to make me feel breathless then. For example in early 1977 on the Villa ward from one day to the next my feet could be sensitive to being tickled and then immune to it. I have to be careful not to perform voluntary breaths otherwise it weakens the respiration.

Eyes

To look at anything without it immediately hurting them I have to not think of doing it. I can watch up to around fourteen hours of TV a day but with a few rests in between to recharge. Right from when the breakdown started in December 1974 my eyes have had difficulty looking at anything specific apart from two respites as far as I can recall in 1976 and 1978.

Most of the time I am unable to move them around in their sockets at will. They mainly move spontaneously. 

Bright light hurts them.

In the relapse of Summer 1978 the colour red hurt them.

I eventually have to stop looking at moving objects plus the view out of the front of a moving vehicle. Windmills revolving even on TV would soon cause a relapse if I continued to be near them and even if I were not watching them. However, fast moving items such as wheels and model aircraft propellers, engines, drills etc do not affect me like that.

I do not think I would be able to wear a blindfold for a long time without it causing a relapse. Certainly I could not do it at all if not interested in doing it. I can only safely keep my eyes closed then or when sufficiently tired such as at night when I get to sleep normally. Roger Coghill's magnets that I placed upon my head for a while until I lost them caused improvement to keeping my eyes closed more in Chapter 9. A sudden major relapse was caused in mid 1976 by me twice in quick succession keeping my eyes closed for several seconds when those nerves were not strong enough to cope, and the relapse made me unable to walk, speak, nor bear any light upon the eyes and I hallucinated for that week too when I heard my father's voice crying in the distance for 24 hours a day. Also, I physically could not sleep at all for eight days owing to the relapse having temporarily damaged my sleep mechanism. I was physically unable to keep my eyes closed at all, although I could blink. The visions then were thrilling, like seeing ones dim dreams or a movie through dark sunglasses. Mainly they were of me walking through a lit city at night with people passing me, and another one was of me travelling down a country lane. The only other time I may have had an auditory hallucination was just after Limbitrol damaged me when I heard two faint drunken men wailing for perhaps a couple of minutes. When I was able to see again that week in 1976 the act of looking hurt my eyes more than previously which meant I had to do it carefully from then on until 1978 when they had temporarily improved enough to be able to look at the television screen for just over three hours at a time. 

 I suffered a momentary visual hallucination after being on the antidepressant drug Dothiepin for one week in Wanstead Hospital, E. London, in February 1975. I saw my mother's arm horribly disfigured when she visited me on the ward.

Nose

 I am unable to tolerate strong smells for long. Rhinitis and sneezing can be caused by me touching cold and rough things.

Mouth

Tongue is sensitive to strong tastes. I can only safely move it, swallow and chew food whenever I am interested enough in doing it.

Mouth

I have to remove food from off my tongue after only several seconds because the taste mechanism runs out of fuel that quickly. It recharges in between mouthfuls.

No cold liquid or cold ice cream have I been able to consume since the big relapse of June 1978 that was caused by me working for up to two hours non stop on my car. However, I can now drink occasional mouthfuls of orange juice from a carton that is at warm room temperature - it feels warmer to the touch compared to plain water.

Before I became more sensitive to drinking fluids (thirst) in mid 1992 when I had a slight relapse from over speaking, I could go longer without drinking than I have been able to do since. Before that relapse, if I badly needed a drink but at the same time I had touched something cold or it just felt cold e.g. metal at room temperature, it produced nausea. I cannot now go long enough without a drink for this phenomenon to mainly reoccur.

Mouth

Currently I can only speak when I am in the mood, but during a major relapse of the condition when I am constantly dumb I can do it a bit albeit very rarely whenever the adrenalin is high enough from fright, anger and pain. However, during those times I can wail and scream for a long periods of time from pain or fear without it causing a further relapse but uttering no actual words.

I can only speak occasionally and it is then spontaneous and I have little control over what I say and cannot stop speaking if I try to do so except when I hold a deep breath but it does not work every time. However, when engaged in a conversation I can suddenly be struck dumb, and it happens earlier the less I am interested in speaking. Sometimes, I accidentally say the opposite to what I mean to utter and sometimes cannot physically correct it. I also say things "back to front" when excited enough and speaking too quickly. Me, speaking, progressively causes in my scalp area (head) a tightening and at the same time stretching sensation on the left-hand side, front top area. I used to tell people that it was occurring inside my brain - although this organ is not supposed to have feeling. The tightness can take from a few minutes to several days to dissipate depending upon how much I have spoken during one session. It can also produce tiredness, and speaking too much makes my bladder functioning more frequent too.

I tend to talk out loud to myself a good amount. This is because of the frequent paralysis to my thinking mechanism in that if I have something worrying me enough and I cannot think the words in the mind it results in spontaneous speech. I should not do it because over-speaking would cause a relapse.

Skin

Sensitive to cool drafts. Cold. Heat. Rough textures.

Skin

I can only stay outside in the open air indefinitely during summer days when the wind is calm. Low temperatures would cause a relapse in a short while. I can do long journeys on my electric bike on warm days without face protection from the wind. Gloves, nylon lined and padded balaclava, and motorcycle goggles do their job for cool summer days and winter winds. My tinnitus (have had this ringing in ears since I was a youngster) increases in volume whenever I am exposed to the cold or even when touching cold feeling objects that are at room temperature e.g. metal. Owing to the latter also being able to give me a relapse by over using the sense of how cold things feel, I thus usually have to pick up metal cutlery that is at room temperature with smooth, parachute nylon material unless, that is, I am only touching them briefly. Any other cloth is too rough for my damaged sense of texture to cope with for long. Consequently, I use the same nylon for sock liners; but for underwear, which has to protect me from rough top clothes, I use polyester/cotton pyjamas worn inside out (to avoid contact with rough seams). I also have to remove most of the buttons because the plastic feels too cold. However, I can wear either plastic polythene disposable or rubber gloves beneath ordinary gloves for protection, and on their own too, but I mostly built my model aircraft bare handed because balsa wood is smooth and warm to the touch whereas wool, for example, is very rough; and me just doing twenty steps barefoot on a woollen carpet adversely affects me, and one of these is that I detect a musty smell in my nose and a sort of sharpness occurs in it too. I can use tools without protecting the skin with anything but only if I am very interested but  I eventually have to stop to let that sense recover. Smaller plastic tools are better than large metal ones, the latter which I cannot touch for long at all.

Skin

Whenever I am not expecting to be touched by someone, the discomfort is so great in that particular area of skin I am being touched that it makes me "jump through the roof;" it also feels that the flesh there would break if touched for one second longer - although I know it will not literally split but would instead exacerbate the nerve damage. On the other hand, whenever I am expecting to be touched, it can still be difficult for me. When I attended a chiropractic clinic (manipulation of the vertebra of the spine) in the 1990s, at the most I had to ask him to remove his hands from my person only once during most ten minute sessions. I even have the same trouble touching myself although I can do it for very much longer but not for long at all when taking my own pulse on the wrist; and at the beginning of the September 1980 major relapse I had to change position in bed every few seconds because whenever I did a thought it made the skin that I was lying on immediately become too sensitive to lie on any longer until it had recuperated from the couple of seconds of rest. This also occurred in the relapse of mid 1978, but in 1980 it went on for longer, and both were so irksome because one cannot rest, and it would be impossible to endure if it were constant.

I can experience an uncomfortable ectopic heartbeat because of touching something cold. The ectopic beat (a missed beat followed by an extra beat) also used to happen a lot whenever I would think too hard, and also relax the mind. They started in earnest like this several years ago after spending weeks writing a lot where the mental strain further weakened the damaged nerves of my mind. Since then they have recovered so that I do not get many of these peculiar heartbeats now. At their peak I was getting about sixty per day. A 24 hour electrocardiogram test revealed them, but they were not abnormal according to the doctor. Touching cold and rough things can also give me very short-term rhinitis (inflammation of the mucous membrane lining the nose) and sneezing.

Skin

At the times that I have been most sensitive to room temperature (I then had to be totally covered by bedclothes to keep warm), being exposed to it in the early stage caused me to vomit, although I never actually brought anything up.

Emotions

They are dulled. Friends must go after about an hour of visiting me; and during the worst part of a relapse I am unable to have friends visit at all. When in a relapse I am unable to even venture within a metre and a half of my model aircraft because I like them so much. In hospital I could bear my parents visiting me only for around three hours owing to being used to them. 

The relapses have increased my sensitivity to neurological drugs including to the Limbitrol family. Consequently, I must not be  given tricyclic antidepressants because they would soon prove fatal. On the other hand Benzodiazepines - the other constituent of Limbitrol - I must not take for more than about a couple of days considering they have a less potent reaction on my condition than the former do. I can tolerate a Valium intravenous injection which would be suitable to allow me to undertake a painful minor surgical procedure as happened in 1982, and also allow me to journey to a hospital  when a relapse has made my senses too sensitive to otherwise survive it without a further relapse resulting.

I discovered in 1982 in the Maudsley that I did not react badly to one injection of intravenous Valium (the benzodiazepine also called diazepam) prescribed so that my cut hand could be stitched. However, having it long-term as a sedative would be no good for the nerve damage. I understand it is given for one to be able to bear a breathing tube inserted into the throat in an intensive care unit for drug induced coma to help recover from brain damage. I must not suffer such an accident then when the doctors are ignorant of my main condition. When I stupidly took the prescribed tablets of Valium for two weeks when an inpatient of the Maudsley Hospital owing to not being in my right mind, August 1981, it exacerbated the neurological injury producing a relapse but I was not on it long enough for my breathing to become paralysed.

Limbitrol 5 in January 1975 worked perfectly in eradicating the temporary violent feeling that  followed the last damaging relapse caused from overusing an affected part of the nervous system. I think it also initially put me to sleep. However, after three days on it my voice became paralysed, and eventually I felt sore like I had been sawn in half from top to bottom. On the final evening of taking Limbitrol I managed to force out one sentence but it had the effect of making me feel elongated from side to side. The following day I went paralysed for approximately ten hours except I could breath and maybe spontaneously swallow and blink. My mind went paralysed too. Dothiepin - tricyclic antidepressant - that I took for one week in Wanstead . General Hospital in February 1975 eventually produced a feeling inside my head of very uncomfortable concrete. It also gave me stone cold lower legs towards the end of the week plus on the final day one momentary visual hallucination of my mother's arm horribly disfigured. Also, during that week at one stage whenever I tried to reach out for anything it produced a  sudden and great piercing pain inside my head. The antipsychotic drugs Modecate (fluphenazine decanoate)  and Depixol (flupenthixol decanoate) (I had Kemadrin and Disipal with them respectively) produced a unique and truly devastating side-effect of fear approximately once every three days later on in the illness when I had them, but not in 1975 when I had Modecate. Orap (pimozide), 1981, produced a similar side-effect but I did not take an anticholinergic with it. Depixol's fearful feeling became so bad once in 1979 it nearly made me commit suicide to escape it. Modecate injections  in 1975 produced a different unbearable side-effect minus Kemadrin which meant I always had to take the latter to keep it at bay, but Modecate then never caused the fearful feeling. The side-effect then was of a sort of soreness inside my head that was increasing the longer I was unable to sleep without the Kemadrin. However, Largactil (chlorpromazine) I can take with impunity and without an anticholinergic drug despite big side-effects but they are not what I would call unpleasant. On the other hand the latest antipsychotics i.e. Risperidone, Seroquel etc have such a potent effect upon the nerve damage it means I am virtually unable to tolerate them at all. However, I have not had them with an anticholinergic which might mean I might be able to bear them with it. Otherwise, I was only able to stand minute amounts of them for only up to three days to see if they would improve the nerve damage as when I improved when on Modecate and Kemadrin plus Depixol and Disipal, including Orap in 1981 which temporarily reduced my photophobia but it was not an actual phobia but a symptom of the nerve damage where bright light hurts them. Stelazine in 1975 produced intolerable restlessness called akathisia for one week before I took Kemadrin which eradicated it within twenty minutes. It also produced an intense dystonia where I was bent double with a twisted face for three days during the first week on it and it was falsely attributed by a nurse to anger.  Seconal, given me for a sleep EEG in 1977 failed to put me to sleep until after the test and it was most uncomfortable producing an effect akin to intoxication by alcohol plus a sort of "snowstorm" in my eyes. The antibiotic Distaclor quickly caused me to head toward paralysis. I effectively suffer no reaction to Aspirin, Metronadazole and Paracetamol. Co-Codamol pain killer causes a tightness inside my head. Omnopon/Scopolamine & a general anaesthetic pre. med. greatly reduced my respiration rate in mid 1988. After the general anaesthetic for a tooth extraction/infected jaw my ears hurt within a few seconds when listening to music and speech until hours later when it the drugs had worn off. Sodium Amytal, one dose used as a truth drug in 1981, was nice. I think it was a Ritalin injection prior to being force fed in 1981 that may have been the drug which made me vomit green bile after I had not eaten or drunk anything  for about four days. The drug made me feel somewhat uncomfortable. Electro shock therapy ECT in September 1976 has given me permanent amnesia for one to about four days prior to the therapy commencing. One moment I was in my hospital room and the next I had woken up in the ECT recovery room after the first of six doses given over three weeks when I was unable to walk speak nor communicate. I was not suffering from depression thus it was prescribed unnecessarily owing to the doctor misinterpreting my catatonic- like state which was a symptom of the nerve damage in question and not psychiatric illness. Sulpiride caused a growing tightness inside my head plus I could only listen to speech and music for a few seconds at a time. Consequently, I discontinued Sulpiride after some hours from starting it. Sodium cromoglycate was prescribed for my allergies in early 1983 and I was hardly sensitive to it. It may have improved the damaged nerves enough to get me walking again from February 1983 although I took a homoeopathic remedy too making me unsure which one was responsible. Flomax had virtually no side-effects apart from maybe a somewhat blocked nasal passage at first. Vesicore not too bad on nerve damage but decided to stop it after three days just in case. Prednisone gave me a perfect night, not waking to relieve bladder nor to eat and drink. Would not like to take it for more than two days as it seemed to be increasing an adverse effect upon the nerve damage. Symbicort has no side-effects. Brycanyl  is the same and is perfect for my periodical asthma caused by the nerve damage.